Warning - by Jenny Joseph
When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickles for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
What's this got to do with the real world? Read on....
A bit of whimsy to start off a rather dismal day – good news I saw some bird tracks the other day (they know) – stay warm! Spring will come!
Why ‘The Wonder Cat’?
How could we survive this ordeal we have all been through without the aid of our pet companions or friends for that matter - they keep us amused and wondering… and Wonder is good – it means something to look forward to…
Humans tell us also in many ways behaviorally and outright that they hurt. Pay attention and wonder at the resilience of spirit that will carry us all through this global crisis, and our personal ones as well. We can learn from what we ‘wonder’ at… STAY STRONG! Lucy is hanging in there with us…
(Dec 2021) Lucy The Wonder Cat…
A bit of whimsy to start off a beautiful but very chilly day out there…get ready Canada this is just the start of some very cold temperatures – stay warm!
Why ‘The Wonder Cat’?
How could we survive this ordeal we have all been through without the aid of our pet companions - they keep us amused and wondering… and Wonder is good – it means something to look forward to.
*** Please especially this time of year NEVER gift an animal – adopt only, and only if you are willing to put in a huge investment of time and love in your life… Hey at least through ‘lock down’ Lucy got out to play… find some play in your day…
Holiday Shopping for the Four Personality Styles
(Dec 4/21) I have published this post for so many years. This year like last Holidays will look so very different for many of us - so slap on your best Holiday Mask and get going!
I know there are some of you who have not yet completed your shopping, and may be completely stumped about what to give your loved ones. Here's some great advice – make it all about them! Really watching and listening to the person you are buying for and making the gift something that is meaningful for them. We tend to choose gifts that we think may be meaningful to others (because it has meaning for us) – now more than any time - people need something that means something - no matter how small'. Each of the four personality styles has preferences. Check out the FUN tips below for giving the right gift for your favourite personalities... :
Our very knowledgeable Green Personality Style will love any gift that furthers their knowledge and competence. Greens are not into possessions or 'things'. Avoid fluffy slippers, kitschy Christmas sweaters and gaudy jewellery. Knick knacks will find themselves in the next garage sale. Greens have a unique sense of humour, so tickets to a comedy show would work, as would a trip to an interesting place with lots of history. A magazine subscription to something that interests them, such as science, nature, how to go 'green'. Avoid packaging; it's likely that our Greens are totally serious about going 'Green'. Greens love ideas and concepts, a trip to the museum would be most welcome.
The core need for our Gold Personality Style is belonging, tradition and responsibility. Think about practicality and how the gift will help the Gold personality type carry out their responsibilities or honour a family tradition. Do not be extravagant and ensure that the gift is of high quality they love trusted brand names. Some gift ideas - a planner for the New Year, a new briefcase to replace the old worn one, a labeller - Golds are very organized, or an alarm clock (wait what's that?) to ensure that the Gold is always on time. Gold personality types will appreciate that you put some thought behind the gift. As long as you are happy they are happy.
Woo Hoo! The Orange Personality Style is motivated by freedom and impact. Don't fence me in! Just like Tigger - Oranges bounce. Orange Personality types are all about the senses. Think about gifts that relate to the senses, fragrance, music, art work, fine wine or chocolate, a soft sweater. Oranges also like variety and fun, so look for something they can use in their leisure time. Plan a spa day and go with them - make sure there is lots of variety and choice. How about an adventure weekend like white water rafting or horseback riding? Even if you get it wrong, oranges won't care, they just want to spend time with you - they'll just bounce back.
Meaning and Significance - that's the key to a Blue Personality Style's heart. The Blue temperament has a core need for unique identity, meaning and significance. Their talents are as connectors, caregivers and mentors. They value harmony and cooperation. People of the blue temperament will not really care about material things. You will really impress a blue if you wrote a poem about them, or, knit something special for them (even if it does look a bit wonky) or give the gift of a gratitude journal. Blues are often found in the Self Help section of the book store - careful though - they may already have all of them! Try a wall plaque that has a motivational saying, or a day out that pampers them, blues so often are caring for others. No matter what you give a blue, it will be treasured and appreciated. Blues are relationship centred; any gift that treasures your relationship with them will be welcomed.
(Dec 2021) This as relevant today as it was in 2010 when I first wrote it. After the past 18 months people are trying to put back the pieces – re-build and face an entirely different world and workplace. Transition is all around us – it is constant. Life is always throwing stuff at us that pushes us into transition - nothing is static or same especially in these challenging times. I don’t know about you, but almost every friend or acquaintance I have has been touched by business closures, bankruptcy, personal loss and perhaps having to start all over. Some find themselves in middle age having to look for alternate employment - and in many cases settle for what we used to call "McJobs". Others are dealing with loss and illness – we have entered a new reality. What to do?
What does it feel like when you hit this wall? Well, it feels like hitting a wall or being pushed into one. Many have worked hard for over 25 -30 years or more - building a business, working a job just to see it all crumble around them. – that’s hard! Hitting the wall can also be a health diagnoses that takes the wind out of your sails (my own dilemma).
What does this do for your confidence?
Many will go through the normal stages of grief (I use the Kubler Ross Model with clients):
Denial – This didn’t happen - I can’t believe it! What did I do wrong?
Anger - It’s not fair – why me?
Bargaining – What do I have to do to change this? Make it better?
Depression/Anxiety – There may be lots of time on the couch in front of the TV – watching endless re-runs, reliving your past… that’s OK as long as you don’t stay there and gather dust…I have lived this so please don’t take this as trite advice…
Acceptance – This is the stage where you finally realize that you cannot or can change the situation and this is where you will find the momentum to move on.
Here’s the catch – this is not cyclical – this is not a list. You many go back and forth along this continuum until life settles into a new ‘normal’ for you.
Many people ‘Hit the wall’ and never get back up. Over our many years of experience we collect so much experience and wisdom, only to end up being marginalized or thought of as ‘past our Best Before Date’. What a shame! that our society sees wisdom and experience as ‘past it’. I myself have hit that wall on many occasions, and even now – hit the wall occasionally. So how do you manage to get up – brush yourself off and keep going?
The first step is taking back (or claiming) your confidence, learning and knowing that you are worthy and that you have an amazing gift to give the world. Every human being has this gift inside. The good news is that there is a road back – there is help along the way. Practice self-talk in the mirror – try it!
The trick is to keep believing in yourself, even if you can only do it for one day a week, after a while, you will find yourself doing it more often. For me, coaching helps whether it is one on one or in a group setting – talking things through with someone really helps. Talking with a good friend also helps… Letting the emotion flow is also helpful – cry yourself a river if need be -get it all out! Go for a walk – get fresh air it helps!
So, what’s your wall? (The first thing is to recognize that there is one…)
- Lost your job? Feeling ‘all at sea’?
- Stuck for a new idea for your business?
- Business in a slump? Downturn or closed?
- In trouble at work? Not making the grade?
- Single Mom or Dad struggling with bills?
- Feeling isolated? Feeling like you can’t see the road back?
There IS a road back!
Inside this gift of TRANSITION, there is an opportunity just waiting to be uncovered, a new door to be opened. It is a new beginning (gift) waiting to be unwrapped, with a voyage of adventure and challenge on the other side. It may not seem that way now – but trust me (The Queen of Transition) it will happen!
Accept your gift – it’s yours for the taking! Get help along the way – we are all in this together!
I love to help people become their best selves. transition and change is with us always, we are constantly re-inventing ourselves and that requires commitment and a process.